The Inner Mentor Process: Tapping The Beautiful Wisdom of Your Evolved Self
By Ken Page
Hello to The Shift Network global community. I'm Ken Page, the host of the Deeper Dating podcast and the author of Deeper Dating. And I'm just so delighted to share with you one of the most powerful and empowering meditation tools that I know. At times like this when there can be so much fear, so much uncertainty, a technique that helps you connect to your peaceful, loving inner self and then gives you direct guidance from that self is just invaluable.
This is a process that I do every single day. I teach to all my clients, all of my course members, and it's just beautiful because you are going to connect with the you that you're meant to be. Then, becoming that you, you're going to call out directions from the you of today. And here's what's going to happen. Those directions that you call out are going to be full of wisdom and kindness. They're going to bypass your critical inner voice. They're going to bypass your worried self. They'll bypass dread. They'll bring you to the heart of your humanity and to the heart of your gifts, and from there it will give you guidance, this process. I just am so excited to introduce you to this process, and it's one that I do every single day. I encourage you to consider doing the same, especially during these really scary, and strange, and difficult times which are unlike any time that we've ever experienced in our lives.
I'm going to lead you in this process now. When you finish with the process, you'll know how to do it. Then, I'm going to lead you in a short-form. The short-form is great because you'll be able to do it really, really quickly. And the more that you do it, the more that a few things will happen. The more you'll get fabulous, beautiful, empowering advice, and the more you'll develop an ongoing, regular, intimate connection with the you that you dream of becoming, the you that you're meant to be. That will bring you joy, and empowerment, and intuition, and insight.
So let's begin the process right now. I'd like you to just take a minute and close your eyes and just relax into your body. Just take a few breaths. If you want, you could even put your hand on your heart center and just take a few breaths and just kind of relax into your body, allowing whatever it is that you're feeling at the moment. Good, good. And at any point as I give these instructions, you might want to pause the recording so that you can just kind of tune in more deeply to whatever comes up. Feel free to do that.
Let me just apologize if you hear little kids' voices. Everyone, of course, is home at this time and it's a beautiful day so there's a little bit of background noise here and there. My apologies for that.
Now, I'd like you to remember a time in your life when you felt really comfortable in your own skin, that wonderful feeling of just feeling good, and safe, and right inside your being. Might've been in a beautiful location. It might've been in a wonderful interaction. Might've been in a spiritual experience or whatever it was, just a time that you had that fabulous feeling of just feeling right, and good, and comfortable inside yourself. Just let yourself remember that.
You don't have to remember it perfectly. Just let that kind of vague memory come to you, almost like as if there was a breeze with a wonderful scent. And sometimes you smell it and sometimes you don't, but when you do get that whiff, you just enjoy it. So let yourself have kind of just moments of remembering what it feels like when you feel just so good, and comfortable, and safe inside yourself.
If you wish, you could pause the recording. Otherwise, just hold that feeling to your heart. Just remember it. No force, no pressure. Just remember this sweetness, the comfort, the safety. Just remember that good feeling.
Now I'd like you to remember something else. I'd like you to remember a time that your heart felt full of love. I would like it to be with someone or something that when you remember it now it doesn't really bring up pain. It still brings up good feelings. So think of a memory of a time that your heart just felt full of love, that you were so connected with the love inside of you. It could be any experience at all, you alone, you with a pet, you with a romantic partner, you in a spiritual experience, you with a family member, a child, anything, anything, just a time that you really felt what it's like when your heart just has a lot of love in it. Just remember that. And again, you can pause the recording if you like, but just allow yourself with great gentleness and ease to remember that experience.
What that felt like in your heart, what it felt like in your body, just be with that. Good, good. And now just hold that feeling in the lightest, gentlest way along with the memory of feeling really comfortable inside yourself. These are moments that you were so you. You were you really alive, really embodied.
And now I'd like you to think of a time that you felt very empowered in your life, like you accomplished a goal that was really big and maybe really hard that you worked hard for, or you got through a conflict really beautifully and found healing on the other side, or you experienced achieving a goal that you wanted to achieve. Anything, anything at all where you felt a real sense of mastery and that wonderful, gratifying feeling of mastery, of having accomplished something that wasn't easy but you used the gifts, and the skills, and the will that you have to get there, to do that. Just to remember that good feeling. And again, if you want to pause the recording, you can pause it.
Very good. Very good. And now just hold that feeling to your heart in a gentle way, that memory of that feeling, that glimpse of that memory along with the memory of that sense of love, your heart filled with love, that sense of comfort and safety inside yourself. Hold all of those together. Now, I would like you to imagine a you who lives from this place. It's like the you you're meant to be. It's like a you who lives in that sense of accomplishment, and mastery, and growth, a you who lives in that sense of love, a you who lives in that wonderful sense of comfort, and safety, and rightness inside your own skin. This is the you you're meant to be. This is older brother, older sister, older, wiser self. It's the more evolved version of you. It's the you that I imagine you dream of being. I think we dream of being that self.
And you don't have to earn this you. You don't have to become this you or or achieve this you. I just want you to imagine this you. Imagine a you living in this state that you kind of feel you're maybe born to live in, a you on the other side of all your inner glass ceilings.
And picture this being. What is this you wearing? What does your face look like? What do your eyes reveal? What does your face reflect? And what's the feeling in your heart and in your body? Just let yourself picture that. Good, good.
Now, I want to do an imagination exercise with you where you imagine that you jump into that self. Again, you don't have to achieve it, or earn it, or anything. It's an imagination process like a method actor jumps into a role without thinking. They just become that. But this is easier because it's you. You know this you. You have a taste of this you. So now just imagine fully being this embodied, embodied, wonderful you. Just imagine stepping into the heart, the body behind the eyes of this self and imagine that right now.
Just feel what that feels like to be in the flow of this you, this wonderful embodied essence of you. Just let yourself imagine it and feel it. There you are. You're behind the eyes of this you, this you that you were born to be, this you that you're meant to be, this you that you love, this you that you love from, this delightful, wonderful, fabulous you. You're just imagining, so just imagine and taste this feeling.
Now, from this place, look at the you of today going through whatever it is that you're going through. From this place, you are now this embodied you. From here, from behind the eyes of this wonderful embodied you, look at the you of today. Look at her face. Look at his face. Look at their face. And from this place, what do you most want to share? What guidance do you most want to call out now that you're in this role of this embodied, evolved you? Looking at the you of today, what guidance do you most want to call out? And speak it out loud and just let the words come.
If you prefer, you can write it down. You can pause the recording to do that, but just let it pour out of you without thinking. Let the words come and just keep imagining that you are this beautiful you looking at the you of today, maybe struggling, maybe scared, maybe uncertain. From this place, what's the guidance that's in your heart that you want to call out? Like a parent looking at a child that they love, that's struggling with something and feeling inside for the words that they most want to say. So do that now. You can pause the recording or you could just speak it out loud right now. Go ahead and do that.
Wonderful. Take a moment or two more. Okay, if you have pens, put them down. And now go back to this fabulous, fabulous you. Imagine opening your arms, opening your arms to the you of today. And now you're this evolved you, and the you of today comes into your arms and you're both hugging each other. So you get to experience this hug from both sides, the you of today and this wonderful evolved you. You're being hugged from both directions and you're hugging in both directions. Just know that this is a love relationship that you can come back to infinitely as many times as you want again and again. Just feel that bond. Thank each other. Beautiful, beautiful work.
So holding that feeling in your heart in a light way, slowly come back and open your eyes. This is what I call the Inner Mentor Process™. And as I said, I do this every day. I know people that ... I know someone who has a wicker basket and she writes each one down on a Post-it. Then, in addition to doing this every day, she can always pull into her box of Posts-its and just pull out the richest wisdom. We look for a guru's wisdom or a teacher's wisdom, but if you think about what you just said, it's kind of bespoke wisdom. It's wisdom tailored from the deepest spots in your own heart forged in your own heart for you. And it's pretty amazing how it bypassed, I would imagine, your critical inner voice. Because I have a big critical inner voice and this always bypasses that voice.
This guidance will help you, tell you what to wear, what to do, how to interact. It'll give you guidance every day. It'll give you guidance all the time. And now I'm going to give you the short-form, the micro meditation because you've just done it. All that is, is you picture the you that you're meant to be. You step into that you, and then you form the words of guidance that come out from this place for the you of today. We're going to do that right now.
What I'd like you to do is picture a circumstance that's just mildly annoying or difficult. Mildly, mildly. Nothing big here. Picture that circumstance. Imagine you're there. Good. And now we're going to do this process. So picture this beautiful inner mentor, this you that is essence of you, embodied you, and now become that you. Just imagine you step into that you, that you that is you. Now look at the you going through this kind of challenging, annoying situation. And from this place of wisdom, what are the words that come out? Just try this and see what happens.
Good. Now you've done the short-form of this process. Especially in times of bewilderment, and in times of fear, and in cataclysmic times, you will always get advice that will feel like it's from the sweetest home inside of you. And once we have a sense of direction, nothing is as scary and nothing is as hard, and we somehow don't feel alone in the same way. We're tapped into something sweet, and good, and wise. And this inner mentor has led me to the marriage that I'm in directly and to many other things as well. So you're to have so much fun with this part of you and you'll find wisdom in places where maybe previously there was just fear, or bewilderment, or uncertainty. And that wisdom will be your next step in your wisdom journey, and that's a precious and beautiful thing.
So I'm so happy to offer this to you at a time that our entire world community is going through such cataclysmic difficult times. But this is good. It's a process for happy times, for peaceful times. And even in the midst of all that we're going through, I'm sure you have happy moments and good times, maybe a lot of them. This is also a process not just for difficult times, but it's a process to learn to cherish even more deeply the happiness, the goodness, and the gifts that you have already in your life.
So I hope you enjoyed this, and I send you all my best. I send my best to every member of The Shift Network global community. I send you my love. Thank you.
Ken Page, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and a leading voice of hope and wisdom for everyone seeking to find and cultivate healthy, lasting love. He is the host of the Deeper Dating podcast and author of the bestseller, Deeper Dating: How to Drop the Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy.
A popular blogger for Psychology Today and HuffPost, Ken has been featured in O, The Oprah Magazine, The New York Times, Chicago Tribune, Cosmopolitan, The Advocate, WPIX-TV News, The Discovery Channel, NPR, Essence.com, Match.com, ChristianMingle, JDate, and more.
Ken, who’s taught at Columbia University, the Omega Institute, and the Garrison Institute, has led hundreds of workshops on intimacy and spirituality for thousands of participants. His work has been highly acclaimed by numerous top thought leaders, including Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Arielle Ford, Edward Hallowell, MD, Chip Conley, Judith Orloff, MD. and Katherine Woodward Thomas.
Click here to visit Ken’s website.