The Power of NO, Boundaries, and Cutting Cords

By Sharmila Mali

Learning to say “no,” especially as an empath, can be difficult. You want to help. You feel their pain and, naturally, you want to help.

However, we have limits and though we want to help our friends, clients, neighbors; there isn’t enough time in the day for everyone. Inevitably, this leads to burnout because you have spent so much of your precious energy and time giving to everyone — you have nothing left for yourself.

The word no is a powerful tool, so let’s begin with that. Say it — NO!

Energetically, saying “no” is a great way of cutting cords. You are creating a firm boundary — not wishy-washy. Does your energy say “well... maybe...”? That’s a wishy-washy no. That isn’t going to work because the other person will energetically pick up on that and keep on you until you give them what they want.

Standing firm in “no” sounds easy, right? It can be, but sometimes it’s much easier said than done. For instance, sometimes I forget that I am empathic. Why? Sometimes I don’t realize that I am having a telepathic conversation with someone. Sometimes I catch it right away — and sometimes I either re-imagine conversations from the past or I imagine potential future conversations. When I receive a real (not imagined) response back from the other person, I feel their emotions — that’s how I know it’s telepathic.

And this creates a cord, because I am thinking of them and/or we are having telepathic conversations.

For example, few years ago when I was a property manager, I had to deal with two renters who didn’t like each other and made each other’s lives a living hell. They were starting to make mine that way, too — but, only because I allowed them. When you own or manage a property and the renters have conflict with each other, you can’t be involved unless there’s property damage. But I allowed my energetic boundaries to be crossed and was drawn into their conflict.

It was only after talking to my friend, a former landlord, that I was able to gain some perspective. She told me to feel all the feelings — and then let it go. I was feeling my feelings. I was feeling their feelings. But I wasn’t releasing it. That was the key. I wasn’t releasing it out of my energy field/aura. I hedged on my NO. My boundaries were open to them and I allowed myself to be roped into their drama.

DING! DING! DING! DING! DING!!!!

How could I forget to release it? I am empathic. I got caught up in their sticky web of enmeshment of mutual retaliations and persistently clinging to their feud. I gave an empathic ear and felt bad about not being able to do anything to help. I felt for both renters and the emotional stress they were causing for each other.

Here is another cord-cutting technique you can use: I sent all their energy being sent my way back to them. Anything they were sending to me energetically, including telepathically, I muted it and sent it all back to them. And I reclaimed my energy, all of my telepathic communications with them, the compassion I felt for them, and I called it back to myself and sent it to the Earth to recycle.

Send their energy right back. Like snail-mail that doesn’t belong to you... you write “return to sender.” You call/pull back any energy you sent them and before it hits your aura/energetic field, send it into the Earth. Feel all your feelings and release them. Find where you feel it in your body and pull the cord out at the root, like pulling a weed out of the ground. And you need to dig a little around the weed to make sure you can pull the entire weed out, along with all of its tendrils, so it doesn’t grow back.

The other part of this is to not beat up on yourself or make yourself feel bad when you realize you got caught up in someone else’s drama. Feel your feelings and release it out of you. When you realize that you need to cut cords with someone you still have a relationship with, just take your time with it and go easy on yourself — and go easy on the person when you see them. Find a neutral place and write down all your feelings, asking yourself how much you need to be involved in a certain situation. Ask if this situation and/or relationship is serving you — and if it isn’t, start the cord-cutting process.

Cutting the cord with someone you need to cut out of your life can be a lot easier than cutting cords and cleaning up the energy with a person you want or need to keep in your life. So if you have to keep this person in your life, try the techniques above.

The less emotion you feel about the person and the situation you two were in, the cleaner the energy is with you. The other person will notice the shift subtly and respond differently to you.

Our energies feed on each other, whether we label it good or bad. In future interactions with the person, you won’t get sucked in so easily.

If you do, it’s easier to reaffirm your boundaries, say NO, and cut any remaining cords.

So, repeat after me, gather all your energy and just say “NO!”

And if you are needing support in the final stages of ending a relationship whether it’s platonic, or romantic, listen to the guided meditation I created below:

Permanent Cord Removal Audio

This complete and powerful audio will help you permanently remove the cords from your energetic field and remove your cords from the other person’s energetic field. I recommend using headphones to receive the full relaxation benefits of the binaural beats. The background music is a composition by Christopher Lloyd Clarke and I selected this music because it’s called, “Letting Go.”

Sharmila Mali is a passionate, lifelong student of intuitive healing. For the past 15 years, she has been working with women who want to get over their ex and stop living in the past. She also teaches Reiki and Intuitive Healing. Sharmila is a Self-Love Expert, Reiki Master Teacher, Akashic Records Reader and founder of The Confident Healer podcast.

Visit her website — here.