Empathy: An Entrance Into the Energy World

By Kabir Jaffe and Ritama Davidson

Empaths have an incredible gift — the ability to feel others and move into deep rapport with them. Through this, we understand the other better and we gain compassion for them because we know the deeper things that move them.

When we can step into somebody else’s shoes we can better understand what motivates them — their joys and pains, hopes and fears — and we can profoundly come in tune with them. Empathy opens compassion, helping us to bridge and come into more harmonious relationships.

But empathy is also a tremendous challenge. The first challenge that most empaths are dealing with is the pain from feeling so much; and then the confusion of not knowing what is yours or the other’s.

This leads to the greater challenge — to decode what you are actually feeling. The reason this is so challenging is that what we call empathy is the tip of the iceberg of our deeper sensitivities to the world of energy. And there is A LOT going on with energy. There is an entire world of subtle energy in and around us, an entire dimension that is just beneath the threshold of normal consciousness. Subtleties of feeling, thought, and energy exchanges move within us and between people, and within rooms or places. This world of energetic phenomena is potent, filled with forces that powerfully shape us.

We’d like to share a practical example of just how powerful this energy dimension is and how it affects us in a myriad of ways.

We recently spent time with a couple we’ve known for many years and who are now in crisis. Laura is a highly sensitive empath, very artistic, always creating beautiful décors. She says she can feel the magic around her. Joe has an administrative job that is very demanding. They are the loves of each other’s lives.

Laura was in a panic, certain that Joe was having an affair. When he would come home from work she would attack him, call him a liar and a cheat, and blame him for not being present with her any more. And Paul would swear that it was absolutely not true. He felt hurt and shamed, and defiant when she would accuse him, especially in front of their daughters. He was also concerned she was becoming delusional.

These fights were driving them apart.

We decided to trust both of their versions and look together at what changes have been going on in their lives. One new element stood out to us.

A few months back, Joe had struck up a close friendship with Henry, a recent widower at work, inviting him home and doing things with him. Laura began to notice that every time Joe and Henry spent time together, Joe was a little distant afterwards. She also found it a bit strange that, though she liked Henry, she had begun to feel uncomfortable when he was around, becoming irritable and judgmental. Many of their fights started when Henry was around.

We discovered that the beginning of Joe and Henry’s friendship coincided with Laura’s jealousy about Joe having an affair.
 

What was really going on

When a couple gets together, it’s not only their hearts that fall in love and connect to each other. There is a powerful energy cord that goes from the belly of one person to the belly of the other.

Primary Cord between bellies
 

Seen energetically, the cord looks similar to the umbilical cord that connects a mother and a child. Through it, energy flows back and forth, linking us, bonding us to the other, and bringing feelings of warmth, safety, and belonging.

We want to emphasize here that when we feel connected to another person, it is literally so — it is energetic connection, not just a psychological feeling. The energetic cord is the real source of what connects us together.

(Note: There are many types of cords between many different chakras that we have with other people such as friends, children, parents, co-workers, etc.)

What happened in the relationship between Joe and Laura is that Joe had disconnected his primary cord from Laura and had plugged it into Henry.

Joe cords Henry, Laura feels abandoned
 

Joe didn’t mean to do this. He wasn’t gay, he wasn’t interested in leaving Laura, and he did not even want anything special from Henry. But due to Joe’s childhood connection with his mother and father, he had a “loose cord pattern” and his cord could be easily disturbed.

Laura felt abandoned because he had disconnected his cord from her. Not understanding cords, she mis-interpreted it as him having an affair with another woman.

Laura too had her issues with cords. Her mother was unable to bond with her in a healthy way due to her own wounds as a child. The result was that Laura had a “hole” in her belly chakra.

A belly hole brings feelings of not belonging, not being wanted, or not being loved. To compensate for this, Laura became overly-dependent upon Joe, unhealthily attached to him as a way to try and fill this hole. When Joe disconnected his cord from her, it triggered a deep pain, which her belly took as a life-threatening situation, causing her to panic.

Speaking with Joe and Laura brought this underlying energy structure to awareness. They could now see the energetic forces that were causing their disturbance. We were able to help Joe disconnect the cord from Henry and reconnect it to Laura. This allayed Laura’s panic and she could begin to relax.
 

Deep Inner Work Through Energy and Awareness

We used this example of cords to illustrate one of the myriad of ways that energy is at work in our lives. It also illustrates how through understanding energy and learning to properly decode our experiences, we can get to the root of what’s going on.

This leads us to the second point — learning to use and handle energy. Once you know what’s energetically going on, then you can work with it. And there is a great deal of work that needs to be done! As we saw in the situation above, Joe’s loose cord pattern and Laura’s hole made for a “perfect storm.” We were able to help them in this moment, but unless they do the deep inner work of transforming these patterns, there is a good chance that the patterns will reoccur.

Awareness of the Energy World will open your eyes to two very powerful insights. The first is just how beautiful everyone is. We are incredible beings of energy!

But the second insight is just how many complexities our energy bodies contain, from qualities of love, strength, and intelligence... to patterns from family, culture, and evolution… to wounds and a host of conditionings and disturbances. These complexities are often unknowingly active and are the source of much unhappiness in our lives.

Becoming energy-aware is radical — it’s like a veil that was covering your eyes gets lifted off and suddenly you can see. Before, you were tripping over things you couldn’t perceive or understand. Now, with energy awareness, you see what’s going on, and what you can do to change things. This opens up a whole new set of tools to transform your life.

The implications of energy awareness are immense. You enter an entirely new dimension of living and experiencing. You come to understand. This changes your relationship with yourself, with people, and with life. Everything becomes different.

You see that behind every situation are great forces of energy at play. Instead of feeling you’re a victim of unconscious sensitivity and empathy, you feel like an explorer making discoveries of what’s happening energetically in and around you. This has given us so much empowerment and joy in our lives. We hope that it can do the same for you.
 

Kabir Jaffe, a spiritual leader in the New Consciousness movement, is a pioneer of Full Spectrum Psychology and Spirituality, the Science of Human Potential. He describes himself as “a man with two wings,” a mystic and visionary on one wing, and a psychologist and scientist on the other. His life’s work has been the study of enlightenment — those expanded states of consciousness seen in mystics throughout the ages — and the methodologies to get there.

Kabir believes that behind all the many problems in the world today, the fundamental problem is the thoughts and feelings that motivate our actions; and the greatest need on the planet today is to change these thoughts and feelings — to change consciousness. His life’s work has been to develop a science of maturing consciousness, and proliferating effective methods to do so. His work is visionary yet absolutely practical and accessible for daily living.

His teachings, called Full Spectrum Psychology and Spirituality, the Science of Human Potential, have been lauded as one of the most comprehensive and in-depth understandings on psychology and spirituality — and their resultant methods of growth as some of the most powerful. His book, Indigo Adults, co-authored with his partner Ritama Davidson, provides a visionary understanding of the New Human Being and the New World we are in, and our purpose in being here at this time in history. Their most recent book, Your Energy in Action, Energy Balancing for Daily Living, outlines the new Science of Energy and the Energy World in ways that everyone can immediately use in living, loving, and creating.

Ritama Davidson is a gifted energy reader, teacher, personal guide, and seminar leader. Her unusual energy-reading abilities allow her to precisely see the inner process of the person she is working with and provide highly detailed and accurate guidance. In addition to her sensitivity, she brings a courageous and passionate spirit to inner work, lovingly challenging participants to come into their energy, power, and truth.

Ritama has been a lifelong student of the relationship between the body and consciousness, having been a professional dancer, choreographer, shiatsu therapist, and massage therapist, and carries a wealth of knowledge on diet, movement, health, and healing. She combines this understanding with her knowledge of energy to offer guidance on healing both body and psyche.

Ritama is the co-founder of the Essence Training Institute and the Energy Balancing Institute. She is the co-author with her partner Kabir Jaffe of Indigo Adults and Your Energy in Action, Energy Balancing for Daily Living.