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Love and Truer Healing

By Ronnie Figueroa

I believe we are born with an innate ability and desire to love and be loved. There has been much research and testimonials that have suggested this to be true. However, how do we determine if our love is genuine and balanced? It happens as we connect more genuinely to our truer selves and it manifests itself toward caring giving, forgiveness, true grief, maintaining presence, etc.

Some might be saying, “How do we know if it’s real, and how do we maintain it?” What I have found is that as we practice Awareness/Focus/Presence, other aspects of life become clearer and things seem to work themselves out without too much of our selfishly motivated ego interference. We all have and need an ego. It is necessary for survival. By definition, the word “ego” means a conscious thinking person; the ego also helps us to have the ability to use the tools that are available to survive.

It is what I call the Selfish Ego that gets in the way. That part of us is the manipulating part that causes us to look outside of ourselves instead of finding our truths from within. The selfish ego can be cunning and manipulative in order to maintain control. We all have within us aspects of the selfish ego. It manifests itself in such ways as to tell us we are right and they are wrong, or they do not have the better way, but I do.

We also sometimes use the selfish ego to protect ourselves from being emotionally or physically harmed. These unconsciously motivated actions can become our conditioned realities that we follow to protect ourselves by rejecting others’ ideas and instead continue to hide what we truly feel inside in order to maintain our safety. A friend of mine gave me good words to define why we continue to unconsciously hide our traumas. She called it Protective Denial.

Some might be asking; How do we know if it’s our more balanced selves or the selfish ego? Well, one way is to recognize when we begin to become selfishly angry, or we begin to negatively judge others, or we become frustrated because we aren’t getting our points across. It’s important to realize that as we consistently practice awareness, using tools of self-exploration, healing becomes more of a natural process.

And be aware also that no one is perfect and we all make mistakes, and that as we continue to take risks and trust our inner voices more and more, we will make less mistakes, we will have more positive manifestations in our lives, and we will be in a more constant state of truer peace, joy, and love. It more about taking responsibility for all of your angers and fears, but responding within this place of spacious awareness as best you can whether you are upset or not.

Ronnie Figueroa is a licensed mental health counselor, certified hypnotherapist, life coach, and author of Life and Death: We Are All That. You can visit Ronnie’s website here.

Click here to watch Ronnie’s 3-minute video, “Pyramid of Life.”


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This article appears in: 2018 Catalyst, Issue 24: Sacred Moments