Wake Up, Wise Up: Musings for a Life in Full Bloom
By Kerry Temple-Wood
Are we really prepared to live a long second half of life? Nice idea, right? AND as baby boomers and as a society, we are in the very beginning stages of learning how to do that well, in body, mind, and spirit. In this second half of life, we have an unprecedented opportunity to enter aging with awareness — a chance to wake up and wise up to our aging experience with the realities of its challenges and its gifts. Approaching aging with a sense of focused awareness and cultivating good mind/body practices helps me set the stage for my ripening process to be the most it can be. My lifelong yoga practice (both physical and spiritual) gives me access to engage a variety of disciplines that I use to fully embrace the blooming of this conscious aging process. |
From Default to Design (react or respond)
For me, conscious aging starts in the mind. In each moment I have a choice in how I approach my life. I can react in an unconscious, habitual sense — this I term my default mode. Conversely, I can engage my awareness, do some “inner” work, and as a result, I am more aware of my “reactions.” I try to stay present with what I am feeling, my breath, and what is happening in my body. In that moment of taking a full breath, checking in and listening, I create the space to respond, which I call design. The discipline of this diligent attention and witnessing helps me creates a new habit, a conscious design. As I continue to engage this mindfulness, I’m more attentive to what triggers me, and responding takes less “effort.” Daily, I practice resourcing myself for the journey ahead; choosing thoughts, words, and actions that are supportive, allowing me to continuously open to a positive perspective of aging — a life in full bloom.
Wise Up Your Nourishment
My life’s path has taught me again and again that what I eat and put in my body influences my daily experience. The journey to my current food lifestyle (some may call diet), has come about by the same inner listening and witnessing practices I spoke of above. In midlife, I became acutely aware of a deep ache in my ankles, shoulder, and thumbs. As a lifelong yogi and yoga educator, this felt lousy and unacceptable! And as a longtime cook, I knew that what I ate influenced how I felt. One thing I could control was what I put in my mouth. I embarked on a journey to discover the connections between what I ate and how my body responded and felt. It took some time and that same diligent focused attention, but I did learn the foods that seemed to make my joints worse. From this experiment, I crafted a few simple guidelines for myself, with permission to indulge on date nights and special occasions for sure! It’s sweet to have some good dark chocolate and a glass of wine once in a while. My body can handle that! Begin to pay attention to what you eat and how you feel.
Wise Up Your Movement
The saying, “Use it or lose it,” is extremely applicable to my aging body. I know that if I don’t continue to strengthen and encourage its mobility, over time I will become less strong, agile, and comfortable. I consciously choose some form of movement and attention to my breath, daily. My favorites are asana (postures), walking, biking, and hiking. Over time I have found several bodywork practitioners that offer modalities that suit my unique physiology. I am aware that I gravitate to movements that I enjoy and feel good. This seems crucial to creating a discipline out of it and motivates me to engage in activity regularly. Make a list of the top five physical activities you enjoy and can incorporate into your Disciplined Movement Design.
One of my top concerns, and one I hear from clients and friends, is maintaining a sharp mind as we age. I’ve found it helpful to humbly consider myself an eternal “student of life.” There is ample support to show the importance of keeping the mind active through learning, reading, creativity, exercise, and stimulating activities and conversations. Mindfulness practices like meditation are a great way to stay in connection with our minds and breath. Sitting quietly with my breath and focused attention allows me to watch my thoughts, rather than be swept away by them. Choosing which thoughts to honor and which to let float away makes a difference in my experience of each moment, and whether I experience joy or discomfort. Make a list of three activities that stimulate your brain and memory, or three subjects you’d like to learn more about for your Disciplined Mind Design.
Wise Up to Your Community
One aspect of the wisdom I’ve gained is the awareness that community and the continued cultivation of personal relationships deeply matter. Social interaction and relationships have been found to be two of the top indicators of a fulfilling and longer life. Fostering supportive community helps me feel more connected, alive, and less alone. I’m also clear that these relationships need to feed my soul to feel worthwhile, and I prefer to offer my time to those who will meet me with mutual respect and presence. Who are the people in your life who matter to you most, and how can you support the connection of those relationships for your Disciplined Community Design?
In regards to respect and presence, my relationship and love for myself are crucial. Love is one of the greatest gifts that I have had in abundance, and I’m deeply grateful for all the ways love shows up within and around me. And yet for all the love that surrounds me, the hardest has often been unconditionally accepting and loving myself. From my life as an anorexic teen, cultivating unconditional love and acceptance for myself and my journey has been a lifelong process. Luckily, it seems the older I get, the easier and more at peace with myself I am, and this grace and acceptance within ripples out to my family, friends, and larger community.
Wise Up to Discomfort — Being Present with What Is
The ripening process, which leads us to our full expression — our full bloom — is not always a bed of roses. Aging is a mirror to reflect on my integrated wisdom. As my body changes and ages, looking into that mirror can be harsh. I’ve noticed that a moment of discomfort is a moment of choice. For example, it matters how I think about — react or respond — to my aching shoulder. The antidote to my judgment is compassion and gentleness. If I feel discomfort — mentally, emotionally, or physically — I can look in that mirror and ask: What do I need to feel better at this moment? The answer may vary, from rest to movement, an action, hydration, or a need for food. It all matters.
I’ve had to come face-to-face with the truth of how I approach my physical and energetic discomfort again and again. Decades of practicing yoga and mindfulness have encouraged me to learn how to be “the Witness,” endeavoring to choose a “response” more often rather than “reaction.” I’ve learned (and often not willingly!) that it takes intention, diligence, and an enormous amount of grace to navigate this new and ever-changing landscape of being an aging human.
Moving from Default to Design — A Blossoming Life
We all have the choice to live a conscious life. The practice of presence, witnessing, and deep listening are fundamental in my approach to my vision of conscious aging. This is the task I have chosen for myself to engage in and empower myself in my ripening years.
However, you choose to live your beautiful and precious life, I invite you to engage it mindfully and with joy and passion, for yourself and the generations to come.
Kerry Temple-Wood is the founder of The Art of Conscious Aging™ and the 63rd Street Yoga Studio in Niwot, Colorado. With 45+ years experience practicing yoga and cultivating a solid foundation of humility and humor, Kerry’s wisdom exudes from her being, inspiring those around her through her teaching, writing, and educational programs. She is passionate about exploring the feminine journey individually and collectively. Her connection to yoga and awakened consciousness has been a thread woven through all the experiences of her life, such as relationships, marriage, motherhood and parenting, menopause, and conscious aging. To learn more about Kerry, her offerings and insights visit The Art of Conscious Aging and 63rd Street Yoga.
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This article appears in: 2018 Catalyst, Issue 8: Energy Medicine Summit