Yoga ~ Peace at Home

By Laura Cornell, Ph.D.

My 7-year-old niece Sarah is visiting for the week, and my husband and I are getting a crash course in the joys and also the challenges of child-rearing.  I love this little girl so much, but managing all of her needs right before I launch a major project ~ The Future of Yoga Summit ~ is a lot!

We signed Sarah up for gymnastics camp each morning to make the week manageable. Even with that, Jim and I are on duty for the morning routine, afternoon adventures, meals, playtime, bedtime and all of the big emotions that come with being a 7-year-old away from mommy and daddy for the first time.

In between times with Sarah I’m scrambling to condense my normal work hours to mornings only, plus handle unexpected Summit details and be on time with multiple deadlines.

What fertile ground to practice peace! It would be so easy to feel overwhelmed or to get frustrated with Sarah when she was being slow or “difficult.”  But honestly, what better opportunity to draw on the strength of my yoga practice ~ so I can be as loving and present with her as my heart truly wants, cherish this time with her and contribute to making one precious life a little better, while not abandoning my other commitments.

I’ve always believed that tender child-rearing is one of the most important peacebuilding occupations on the planet. We don’t do enough to support parents in this important work! Being with Sarah this week is my way of contributing, in a small way, to raising the next generation to be both loving and wise.

Here is what I am finding is helping:

1. I’m maintaining my usual yoga practice, even if in shorter spurts. Sarah has joined me in my lap for morning meditation, and sat quietly next to me for about 10 minutes at the beach yesterday, building a small castle while I meditated.  She loves to do yoga poses with me and also loves the silent time we take before meals for grace.  

These quick snatches of heart-centered quiet strengthen the vibration of peace in and around me, a peace I can rely on later when needed. Patanjali says, “All hostilities cease in the presence of one firmly established in Ahimsa (non-violence).” During meditation I feel peace and love flow into me, and I’m able to take this into my interactions with Sarah.  Given the big adjustments for her this week our time has been incredibly smooth, and I attribute that to meditation!

2. I’m taking a moment to breathe before reacting. A couple of times I’ve felt myself getting irritated or frustrated, or being unsure how to respond.  Rather than reacting in upset, I’ve taken a pause to breathe first and find the most loving way to connect with Sarah around the issue, rather than feeling pressure to fix it in the moment.  

Not that I wouldn’t jump quickly to protect Sarah’s safety if needed, but when something isn’t critical, I try to soften inside before seeking a response. As I’ve learned in my yoga practice, I “observe without judgment.”  I might then take the question into meditation, asking for a way to tell Sarah a needed truth she might not like to hear with gentleness.  If I can find the connection back to my own heart, I know I’ll be able to connect with her heart as well.

3. I’m letting go of perfection. For the first 2 days Sarah was here, we totally forgot to remind her to brush her teeth.  Then, despite all of our efforts to think through her screen time, we found Sarah watching YouTube music videos on her tablet, something mommy definitely doesn’t want.  And today my hubbie and I mis-communicated about Sarah’s booster seat, which led to our being 15 minutes late for pick-up at the end of gymnastics camp.

There’s a lot to learn with caring for a child!  Despite a long list from my sister, none of us comes with a truly comprehensive instruction manual.  Again, the best guide is found in the heart, in the wisdom that flows from the quiet truth of meditation.  When we let go of needing ourselves or others to be perfect, peace becomes possible.

Yes, I absolutely believe in working towards global peace, implementing conflict resolution programs, building understanding between nations and peoples, and creating more just economic and social structures that support the foundation of peace. We’ll be talking about these things in the upcoming Future of Yoga Summit.

But it’s in the small interactions with the ones we love that the rubber meets the road.  What good would it be for me to get on the Summit next week and spout a bunch of high-minded principles about peace, if I wasn’t living and breathing it at home?  

Peace is a process, built one breath, one pose, one meditation session, one person, and one child at a time. I’m grateful for this practice of yoga, constantly reminding me to open more and more into my heart, and more and more into peace.

Laura Cornell, Ph.D., is founder of Divine Feminine Yoga, where she mentors yoga teachers worldwide to leverage their talents for greater fulfillment, income and service. She holds a doctorate in religion and philosophy and is a 500-hour certified Kripalu yoga teacher and integrative yoga therapist. As founder of the Green Yoga Association, Laura spurred a national movement towards green yoga studios and produced two major conferences on yoga and ecology. She has been featured in Yoga Journal, L.A. Yoga, and Common Ground Magazine. Laura has taught at the Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health, the Yoga Philosophy Programs of Loyola Marymount University, the California Institute for Integral Studies, the Integral Yoga Teachers Conference, the MC Mehta Center, and the Mahatma Gandhi Peace Center in India. Today, she serves a community of 10,000 women through online courses and in-person retreats, a year-long mentoring program and the annual Divine Feminine Yoga Telesummit. http://www.divinefeminineyoga.com